Concern (Translated to English):
Good evening. I hope you notice my message. My boyfriend has a child with his former wife, to whom he is still legally married. They have been separated for eight years. Recently, his wife has been asking for child support. My boyfriend is willing to provide support, but his wife is demanding PHP 15,000 per month, while he can only afford PHP 3,000 monthly due to his job as a truck driver. They have met twice to discuss the matter, but his wife does not agree. What should we do?

∇ Legal Contemplator

Foundational Observations:
Okay, let me start small here. What do we know? First, the concern revolves around child support, which is a legal obligation under Philippine law. Second, the husband and wife are still legally married despite being separated for eight years. The child is entitled to financial support from both parents, but the amount must consider the paying parent’s income and the child’s needs. Third, there’s a clear conflict over the demanded amount versus the boyfriend’s financial capacity.

This raises immediate questions: How is child support determined in the Philippines? Is the wife’s demand of PHP 15,000 reasonable, or is the boyfriend’s PHP 3,000 adequate? How do courts generally resolve disputes like this? Am I assuming too much by framing this solely as a financial dispute? Could there be emotional or psychological dimensions influencing these negotiations? Hmm, a lot to unpack.

Child Support Law in the Philippines:
I recall that under the Family Code of the Philippines, both parents are obligated to support their child. Support includes everything necessary for sustenance, dwelling, clothing, medical attendance, education, and transportation. This obligation is proportional to the resources of the giver and the needs of the recipient.

This proportionality is key. It implies that if the boyfriend earns a limited income, his support obligation will correspond to that financial reality. But then, what’s “proportional” in practice? Does proportionality have a fixed formula, or is it more subjective? Courts generally consider the income, expenses, and overall financial capacity of the paying parent. Still, the court also evaluates the needs of the child, which can vary widely depending on age, schooling, and health. Hmm, the PHP 15,000 demand feels high for a truck driver’s salary, but I might be making assumptions about his income.

Assessing Financial Capacity:
Let’s think this through. Truck drivers in the Philippines earn, on average, around PHP 12,000 to PHP 25,000 monthly, depending on their employer and workload. If the boyfriend is on the lower end of that spectrum, say PHP 12,000 monthly, allocating PHP 15,000 solely for child support seems mathematically impossible. He would likely struggle to meet his own basic needs. But what if he earns more? Even at the upper end, say PHP 25,000, allocating over half his income to child support might strain his finances.

I wonder, has the boyfriend presented clear evidence of his income during their discussions? Bank statements, payslips, or employment contracts could substantiate his claims. If he hasn’t, would his wife feel justified in questioning the PHP 3,000 offer? Hmm, transparency seems crucial here.

The Wife’s Perspective:
Why is the wife demanding PHP 15,000? Could it be that the child’s actual expenses approximate this figure? Education, especially private schooling, can be costly. Add to that food, clothing, medical needs, and other essentials, and PHP 15,000 might not seem excessive for a middle-class standard of living. But then again, is the wife considering the boyfriend’s capacity?

Is there bitterness or mistrust lingering from their failed marriage? Eight years of separation might not erase past grievances. Could this be less about the amount and more about ensuring accountability? Or perhaps a negotiating tactic—start high, then settle somewhere lower?

Negotiation Deadlock:
Two failed meetings suggest communication breakdown. Without compromise, this dispute seems destined for court. But court proceedings are slow and expensive, often leaving both parties worse off. Would mediation be a better alternative? Mediators can help bridge gaps in understanding and foster amicable resolutions.

Possible Actions:

Document Financial Status:
The boyfriend should gather all documents proving his financial capacity. These include payslips, contracts, or affidavits if he’s a freelance truck driver. Transparency might help temper expectations.
Itemize Child’s Expenses:
The wife could be asked to provide a detailed breakdown of the child’s monthly expenses. This might clarify whether PHP 15,000 is justified or exaggerated. If the child’s actual needs align with PHP 3,000, it strengthens the boyfriend’s position.
Seek Mediation:
Before escalating to court, they could consider mediation through the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) or barangay officials. Mediators might help balance the child’s needs with the boyfriend’s capacity.
Court as Last Resort:
If negotiations fail, the case can be brought to court. The judge will assess both parties’ claims and set a fair amount. The court process ensures neutrality but might strain relationships further.

Uncertainties and Final Thoughts:
Am I overestimating the practicality of mediation? What if emotions are too raw for rational discussion? Then again, how else can they avoid litigation? Hmm, maybe the court is inevitable. But is the boyfriend prepared for the emotional and financial toll? And what about the child’s welfare in this tug-of-war? A prolonged conflict could harm their emotional well-being.

Resolution feels elusive here. Perhaps there’s no perfect solution, only one that balances competing priorities: the child’s welfare, the wife’s expectations, and the boyfriend’s financial capacity. If they can focus on shared goals—like the child’s future—perhaps compromise is still possible.

Final Answer:
The boyfriend should document his financial capacity thoroughly and request a detailed breakdown of the child’s expenses from the wife. Mediation, facilitated by the DSWD or barangay officials, should be attempted to resolve the dispute amicably. If negotiations fail, the case may need to be brought to court, where a judge will determine a fair child support amount based on proportionality to the boyfriend’s income and the child’s needs.