Concern:
My boss is tracking my social media activities, specifically my Instagram Stories, even though she doesn’t follow me on that platform. Despite my account being public, her monitoring feels intrusive, especially since she confronted me about one of my posts, alleging a potential conflict of interest. I keep Facebook for close friends and avoid sharing personal or work-related posts there, even though we’re connected. Her behavior feels like stalking and leaves me uncomfortable, raising questions about her intent and whether it stems from crab mentality or a tendency to criticize excessively.

∇ Legal Contemplator

Let’s unpack this systematically, starting with the basics and building our reasoning step by step.

1. Initial Observations

Instagram is public by choice. This means anyone, including my boss, can legally view my posts and stories. I willingly made the account public, knowing the trade-off: greater reach but reduced privacy. Yet, her deliberate tracking, given that she’s not a follower, feels intentional and invasive. Does this cross a legal or ethical boundary? Unclear for now.
Conflict of interest accusation. The claim that my post could present a conflict of interest introduces a professional angle. It implies she isn’t merely curious about my life but actively scrutinizing it for possible implications at work. This escalates the situation from mere discomfort to professional tension. What qualifies as a conflict of interest in this case? Need to dig deeper into this.
Personal boundaries blurred. While Facebook connections with colleagues are reluctantly accepted, the core issue seems to be Instagram’s role. My decision to keep it public complicates the matter, as it’s hard to argue that public content shouldn’t be seen or discussed by specific individuals.

Let’s pause and reflect on these points. It feels like there are two overlapping problems: her invasive behavior and the professional ramifications. But am I conflating discomfort with misconduct? Is my emotional reaction clouding my analysis? Let’s backtrack and refine.

2. Social Media Dynamics and Privacy

Does public visibility negate privacy concerns?

Legally, a public Instagram account is accessible to anyone, so her viewing the content isn’t technically stalking. But does intent matter here? If she actively seeks out my stories, bypassing the follower relationship, it demonstrates a deliberate interest that feels personal rather than incidental. Is this behavior merely curious or borderline obsessive? How do I differentiate the two?

Could this have been avoided?

Keeping my account private would limit her access, but it feels unfair to restrict my freedom to share openly just because she’s overstepping. The onus shouldn’t solely fall on me to create boundaries—yet isn’t that the nature of public platforms? Is this a dead-end line of reasoning? Maybe not. Let’s hold onto the thought.

Cultural factors in the Philippines.

The concept of pakikisama (maintaining harmony) and the prevalence of tsismis (gossip) might be fueling her behavior. Does she view my openness as an invitation for scrutiny? Or is this rooted in crab mentality—an urge to pull someone down by finding fault? How can I discern her true motivation? Should it even matter, or is the focus solely on her actions, not their reasons? Revisiting this later feels prudent.

3. Conflict of Interest Claim

What does she mean by conflict of interest?

This accusation needs clarity. Did I post about a competitor, disclose sensitive company details, or promote something that could impact my professional obligations? If none of the above, the accusation may lack substance and instead reflect her personal biases.

Could this be retaliatory?

Her confrontation suggests she might be using the “conflict of interest” angle as a pretext to assert control. This feels manipulative, but is it actionable? Without specifics, it’s hard to determine whether this is a legitimate concern or an attempt to intimidate. Her intent remains murky, so let’s consider both scenarios.

Legal implications.

If the accusation holds no merit, her confrontation could be deemed harassment or bullying, especially if it’s persistent. But am I jumping ahead? What evidence supports this claim? It’s too early to conclude, so let’s backtrack. Could documenting her behavior help clarify this over time?

4. Emotional and Professional Boundaries

Why does this feel so unsettling?

The discomfort stems from the breakdown of perceived boundaries. Work-life separation is a widely held norm, yet social media blurs these lines. Her actions may not violate laws but certainly infringe on personal comfort. Is this purely an emotional reaction, or does it signal deeper professional concerns?

Options for managing discomfort.

Change privacy settings. This feels like surrendering autonomy, but it’s an immediate fix. Is it worth compromising personal freedom to regain peace of mind?
Direct confrontation. Would addressing this directly escalate the situation? She already confronted me, so the dynamic feels imbalanced. Is there a way to communicate without inviting retaliation? Uncertain for now.
HR involvement. Escalating to HR could formalize the issue but might strain the professional relationship further. Is this overreacting? It depends on the persistence of her behavior.

5. Exploring Dead Ends

Can intent be proven?

Her motivations—whether crab mentality, excessive criticism, or genuine professional concern—are subjective and hard to substantiate. Fixating on intent might be a dead-end. Should I focus on her actions instead? This seems more actionable.

Is her behavior inherently wrong?

Public content is fair game, so her viewing alone doesn’t constitute stalking. However, the deliberate monitoring and confrontation cross into questionable territory. But how do I articulate this distinction without sounding overly sensitive? Revisiting this thought later might help.

6. Resolution

Key Takeaways

Her actions, while not illegal, infringe on personal and professional boundaries.
The conflict of interest claim lacks specificity and warrants clarification.
Immediate actions could include adjusting privacy settings and documenting interactions for reference.

Next Steps

Consider a polite, non-confrontational discussion to clarify the conflict of interest claim.
Reflect on whether HR involvement is necessary, depending on her response and future behavior.
Reevaluate privacy preferences on social media, not as a concession but as a proactive measure.

Final Answer:
Your boss’s actions, while not outright illegal, are invasive and unprofessional. Addressing the situation tactfully is key. Begin by seeking clarification about the alleged conflict of interest. If her behavior persists or escalates, documenting her actions and involving HR could help establish boundaries. Adjusting your Instagram settings might also provide immediate relief, though it’s understandable if this feels like an unfair compromise.